Prison Panda
by Nilesmac
Summary: Po and the Furious Five take a seemingly harmless tour of a prison, only to then become inmates!


**Been working awhile on this story. I'd appreciate feedback and if you'd like to see a second chapter!**

**Who knows? This might be like Pride and Prejudice part 2... But probably not though! :)**

* * *

In the Jade Palace all of the Kung Fu masters and bureaucrats were gathered at a table feasting. Shifu stood up and cleared his throat to gather everyone's attention.

"First, let me state how honored I am to have all of you here in our home. My name is—" Po then stood beside Shifu interrupting him.

"Ok. This is a man who needs no introduction everybody. And if you don't already know who he is than just get out." A few people got up and left. Shifu starts talking again.

"I am Master Shifu." Shifu says. A bureaucrat raises a hand up.

"Wait. Who is the panda?"

"Get out." Po tells the man. The bureaucrat got up and left. Po started talking once more.

"Okay people, listen up. Is there anyone else in here who doesn't know who I am?"

A few people raised their hands, and Po spoke to them.

"All of you kindly get out." Shifu then interrupted.

"No! Nobody has to leave. Po, thank you but that's enough. Please have a seat now."

"Warmed them up for ya." Po said to Shifu as he sat down and gave him a thumbs up. Shifu sighed and continued talking.

"The reason we all are here is to discuss the possible closing of Chorh-Gom Prison. After multiple escapes it doesn't appear fit to hold China's most dangerous criminals anymore." A bureaucrat piped in.

"One goat and a group of knuckled head bandits were able to escape. And not stealthily or cunningly I might add. They literally fought their way out head on and broke down the door, unarmed. No wonder Ti-Lung got out. The place is a joke." A second bureaucrat added to that.

"But is it necessary to close down the whole facility? Perhaps if we brain stormed some ways in which Chorh-Gom Prison can be improved."

"Good suggestion." Shifu noted. "Does anyone have any ideas on how to improve Chorh-Gom Prison?" The only hand that shot up was Po's. Shifu sighed once more.

"Po?"

"I was wondering if I can replace one of my arms with a flail." Po said. "With like a spiky ball at the end"

"In what way does that improve the security of Chorh-Gom Prison?" Shifu asked.

"It'd be so bad-ass." Po replied. Shifu chose to move on.

"Anything else? Anyone?"

Everyone was silent, until Po started talking once more.

"How about instead of a flail, I replace one of my arms with a crossbow? I feel like it'd give me more of a range attack."

"Noted, Dragon Warrior. Okay. Are there any other suggestions? Any other suggestions at all?" Everyone remained silent. Po's hand shots up again.

"That's enough suggestions." Shifu quickly said "It is decided that we will be pursuing another prison to hold China's most dangerous criminals... Those who will lose their jobs over Chorh-Gom Prison's means of being shut down must remain in our thoughts along with their families." Shifu saluted and took his seat.

"Yeah! Shifu!" Po started applauding. Upon seeing no one else joining in on the applause, he got embarrassed and stopped.

"Why applaud people losing their jobs?" a bureaucrat asked.

"Get out."

* * *

Later…

The Furious Five were performing their daily death-defying Kung Fu moves in the Training Hall. Tigress smashed one of the swinging spike balls of wood, and it obliterated into shards of wooden splinters. She takes a flying leap and recovers quickly with her sword drawn in a Kung Fu stance when the blade of the sword plops off.

"Shoot." Tigress mumbles. Tigress approached Po who is napping in the large jade turtle bowl exercise ring.

"Po!" Tigress yells. Po jumped awake.

"Huh?"

"Sleeping?" she asked.

Yes - N-NO!" Po stumbled.

"My sword broke." Tigress stated. "Can I borrow yours?"

"Yeah. Sure thing, Tigress. Just be careful this time, understand kiddo?" Tigress gave him a look.

"Hehe - Kidding." Po laughs.

Po hands tigress his training sword.

"Why is the scabbard covered in barbecue sauce?" Tigress asks, confused.

"That's what the scabbard is for," Po replied. "To protect the sword from things like scratches, rust, and possible barbecue sauce." Tigress took the sword out the scabbard.

"There's more barbecue sauce on the sword than on the scabbard." She remarked.

"Have it back to me by this afternoon, okay kiddo?" Po commanded Tigress.

"Actually-" Tigress replied." I think I'm going to go ahead and hang on to this because it's a really expensive piece of equipment and you don't know how to take care of it."

"Auwgh! Seriously?!" Po moaned. "That's like the same thing Monkey said we he took my poleaxe last week!"

"Was that because your poleaxe was covered in barbecue-"

"Barbecue sauce. Yeah it was. That's exactly it." Po interrupted.

"Po, what are you doing with these weapons that keeps getting them covered in barbecue sauce?" Tigress replied irritably.

Before Po could respond, Monkey came in, holding an arm full of weapons as he walked down the stairs by Crane.

"Po, can you answer the door?" Monkey asks. "My arms are kinda full."

"Fine." Po says in return.

Po goes to answer the door. At the door Po sees a Peacock dressed really fancy in an erratic sort of way. He could be the John Galliano of Peacocks.

"Greetings, Dragon Warrior." The peacock says. The Peacock bows with great courtesy.

"Hey, what's shakin my fancy hat wearing friend?" Po says. The Peacock extends an envelope to Po.

"I'm here simply to deliver a message to your Master. If it's no trouble." Po takes the letter. It's a royal crimson color with gold trimming.

"That's no trouble at all." Po said. " I'll definitely get this to Shifu for you Mr – umm- What did you say your name was?"

"Remember. Get that to your Master as soon as you can, Dragon Warrior!" The Peacock salutes and leaves Po standing there.

"Um, Okay?" Po remarked.

* * *

Later in the Jade Palace...

The Five and Po stood in attendance with Shifu.

"The message I received is from an old friend and colleague of mine. Master Junjie." Shifu explains. "He wants me to visit him in a facility he claims will be the next Chorh-Gom Prison. He also requested he would like to meet all of you. So you all will be coming along as well."

"Awesome!" Po cries.

"So, Master," Tigress asks. "We will be inspecting this prison's security system along with Master Junjie?"

"Precisely. We will embark for Bang Kwang Prison immediately." Shifu turns and leaves.

"We're going on a field trip to a prison. Yippie." Crane says sarcastically.

"Sounds like it could be kinda fun." Monkey replied.

Tigress scoffed. "This all sounds pretty sketchy to me."

"Everything is sketchy to you." Mantis butted in. "Like at my nieces birthday party."

"The man was obviously planning something since he shows up disguised in face paint and a wig to a child's birthday party. And there's no way Mr. Wiggles Poop was his real name. He got the beating he deserved." Tigress explained with severity.

"No he didn't because he didn't do anything." Mantis said. "He was a birthday clown we hired."

"Either way," Tigress growled. "I'm bringing nun-chucks.


End file.
